


Anguish in Your Eyes

by noirsparker



Category: Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Drabble, Fighting, M/M, Military Camp (mentioned), blood (mentioned), death (mentioned) - Freeform, nobody actually dies btw
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-10
Updated: 2020-11-10
Packaged: 2021-03-09 00:48:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 801
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27486049
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/noirsparker/pseuds/noirsparker
Summary: Ibara looks at Yuzuru and he feels like he's in his early teens again, watching him leave and wondering what he did to deserve such abandonment.
Relationships: Fushimi Yuzuru/Saegusa Ibara
Kudos: 7





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> A fic less than 1k because sometimes we have to return to our roots I guess.
> 
> Much as I love them, I really dont know Ibara or Yuzuru that well in terms of characterisation- so this is another case of letting Jesus take the wheel.

Ibara looks at Yuzuru and he feels like he's in his early teens again, watching him leave and wondering what he did to deserve such abandonment. He knows now, that he doesn't deserve the love he wants from him, and that Yuzuru will never give it to him. Ibara hadn't known you could grieve someone who was still alive until Yuzuru left him, and with that lesson came another- grief feels a hell of a lot like anger. Anger he can't help but direct at Yuzuru, since he's the one who left him there alone. Anger that led him here, hanging him over the edge of the ES building by his collar, hands slick with both rain and blood. Ibara knows all too well how Yuzuru must feel right now, feet desperately trying to find purchase but meeting nothing but air- facing his death head-on. He's glad, in a way, that his eyes are shut, blocking him from seeing the fear that must be in them. Despite his promises to do so, he knows he's bluffing when he says he wants to kill him. All he really wants is for Yuzuru to feel as alone and helpless as he had. Even that he feels guilty for.


	2. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah sorry this is in a different tense to the prologue i dont possess a brain

Yuzuru braced himself, eyes clenched shut, as Ibara clutched at his collar. It wasn't like him to give up so easily, but he was _tired._ Fighting Ibara had gotten him nowhere, done nothing but bruise every conceivable inch of his body and severely diminish the amount of blood in him. He could feel it dripping down his face, his knuckles and oozing into his trousers from his knees. He knew Ibara was no better off, maybe even worse for wear, but that didn't matter. He wasn't the one being hung over the edge of a building, his life hanging from nothing but the fists grasping onto his collar. It was over for Yuzuru, Ibara had finally done it, he'd finally gotten the chance to destroy him. All he had to do was let go.

He was hesitating.

A magenta eye opened, and Yuzuru was somehow calm enough to take in the expression of the man holding his life in his hands. Even without the tears rolling down his cheeks, the anguish was obvious. Before he could say anything, Ibara threw him. Not _off_ the building, as Yuzuru had expected him to do, but back onto the roof, turning around to make the effort easier. He scrambled, taking a moment to appreciate the feeling of not being about to fall off a skyscraper, but the cry Ibara let out quickly drew him back to the situation at hand.  
"I didn't teach you to be a coward." This probably wasn't the best thing to say, given he'd just had his life spared, but it was all that would come out of his mouth. It had been Ibara's fault his life needed sparing, anyway.  
"Shut up." Whether there was more pain or anger laced into the words, Yuzuru couldn't tell. "It's your fault. It's all your fault! You left me!"  
"I-"  
"No! Shut the hell up. I'm not listening to you right now. Never again. I looked up to you! You were the closest thing to family I'd ever had and you left without a word! I hate you!"  
"You have every right to hate me." Yuzuru's heart ached, every fibre of him wanting to dispute the accusation, to tell Ibara that the last thing he'd wanted was to leave the camp- to leave him. But he couldn't. It wasn't the time.  
"I wish I could... I wish when I said I hated you I _meant_ it. Why did you do this to me?" He threw another punch at Yuzuru, but he missed by a considerable amount, and crumpled to the ground instead. "I was in love with you. You were so beautiful.... I couldn't do anything. Fuck, I still can't! You conflict me like nothing else ever could."  
"Ibar-"  
"Shut up! Just go and leave already, won't you? I know you're going to. Do you hate me so much, that you're happy to torture me first? Is breaking me once not enough for you?!" It was clear to Yuzuru that whatever he said wouldn't make a difference here, that the pain of him leaving years ago still ripped Ibara to shreds.

Perhaps one day, he'd be able to tell him that he loved him, and Ibara would be willing to listen. Or perhaps, he thought as he shut the door to the roof behind him and made his way down the flights of stairs, leaving Ibara sobbing in the rain, neither of them were destined for that. Perhaps he didn't deserve to be the one to make him happy, when he'd already caused him so much pain.


End file.
